Funny Happy Birthday Quotes & Sayings | Birthday Humor

Birthdays are a time for celebration, but they’re also a great time for a little humor. Whether you’re teasing a friend about getting older or just looking for a lighthearted way to say “Happy Birthday,” these funny birthday quotes will add the perfect touch of humor to any birthday message. Laughter is the best gift after all!

Hilarious Quotes About Growing Older

Aging might not always be fun, but it sure does make for some great jokes. These quotes poke fun at getting older, reminding us to laugh through the years.

• Act your age not your shoe size.
• Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
• Forget about the past, you can’t change it, Forget about the future, you can’t predict it, Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
• You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar… Yung No Mo.
• I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
• Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday. Happy Birthday.
• I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
• You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
• Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
• I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!
• You aren’t really 60. Just 21 with 39 years experience!
• Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
• May you grow to be toothless! Happy Birthday.
• Something to remember on your birthday: Forget the past, it can’t be changed. And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.
• At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.
• Forget the past, you can’t change. Forget the future, you can’t predict it. Forget the present, I didn’t get you one! Happy Birthday!
• It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
• If you want to look young and thin on your birthday, hang around a bunch of old fat people.
• 50?! I demand a recount!!
• When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”

Funny Birthday Wishes That’ll Make Anyone Laugh

A little humor goes a long way in making birthdays memorable. These funny birthday wishes are perfect for bringing a smile to someone’s face on their special day.

• Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
• Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.
• It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
• So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
• Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened. – Terry Pratchett
• That awkward moment when it’s your birthday and everyone is singing “Happy birthday to you” and you just stand there clueless of what to say.
• At least you’re not as old as you will be next year! Happy birthday!!!
• Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
• The best way of staying young is lying about your age.
• There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – Robert Frost
• When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.
• Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!
• I’m not going to make any age-related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
• Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breathe.
• Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.
• Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
• One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
• When you are over the hill you pick up speed!
• I’m just here for the cake.
• A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Birthday Quotes for the Young at Heart

Age is just a number, and these quotes show that you’re only as old as you feel. A birthday doesn’t mean you have to act your age—stay young at heart and enjoy every moment!

• When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64. – Steven Wright
• You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.
• 50 years old or 18,250 days young.
• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain
• I’m not 50 I’m 49.95 plus tax.
• It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it!
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
• You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – Bob Hope
• Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese.
• Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Mwah!
• Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake!
• A toast to you! May you live to be as old as you look!
• I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.
• When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. – Mark Twain
• Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. – Robert Frost
• Celebrating your birthday is like being happy that you are closer to your grave.
• With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest persons I know.
• The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – E. Joseph Cossman
• Hey I’m not saying you’re old… I’m just saying that if you were milk I’d smell you before I poured you on my cereal.

Birthdays are a reminder of all the good times we’ve had, the laughs, and of course, the endless supply of cake! These funny quotes and sayings will help you celebrate your next birthday with laughter and joy, no matter how many candles are on the cake.