Short Funny Quotes | Funny Life Quotes | Cool Funny Quotes

Life is full of humor, even in the mundane moments. These funny quotes will add a smile to your day and remind you not to take life too seriously. From witty observations about daily life to hilarious reflections on relationships, these 100+ funny quotes will brighten your mood.

Funny Life Quotes

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
If you can’t get someone out of your head…Then maybe they are supposed to be there.
When nothing goes right, go left.
Boys fall for me – Because I trip them.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.
Never steal. The government hates competition. – Ron Paul
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Funny Quotes about Friends and Relationships

You cry, I cry…you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!
Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
Some people are like Slinkies. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs. 🙂
All guys hate the words DON’T and STOP unless they’re put together.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
Save water and shower together.
Rule #1 I’m always right. Rule #2 If I’m wrong please look at rule #1.
When life gives you lemons…squirt it in your enemies’ eyes!
Never argue with an idiot, they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience. – Mark Twain
I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better 😀

Funny Observations about Life

I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.
When life gives you lemons, ask why… because I don’t get it.
The future just ain’t what it used to be.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy – the parents.
Why do they put pizza in a square box?
There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things.
If Barbie was so popular, why do people buy her friends?
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart and a terrible memory.

Hilarious One-Liners

Flying is learning how to fall without hitting the ground.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
I didn’t trip; I was just testing gravity.
When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m an alcoholic. But when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them. But make sure the flower is still in the pot.
Smile…it confuses people!
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
If you expect the unexpected, doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?
The hardest part about business is minding your own.

Funny Quotes about School and Education

School is like a prison. But they won’t let you out early for good behavior.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
Why do people try to park as close as they can to the entrance when they go to the gym to work out?
I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.
Math problems: Jane bought 72 sofas…WHO THE HELL WOULD BUY 72 SOFAS?!
It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s high school. – Lisa Desrochers
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step into the exam hall.
If Facebook was a subject I’d get an A+++.

Quotes on Food and Diet

I’m on a seafood diet…I see food and then I eat it.
Coffee, Chocolate, Men. The richer the better!
Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out… But she has trouble being heard through all the fat.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra
The only way to look slim is to hang out with fat people.
My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship.
I had superpowers until my therapist took them away!
I ran into my ex today…put it in reverse and did it again!
Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.

Life is filled with funny moments, and humor is a great way to cope with its ups and downs. Whether you’re laughing at the absurdity of daily life, school, relationships, or just some random one-liner, humor makes everything a bit easier. We hope these 100+ funny quotes have brought a smile to your face and remind you to never take things too seriously. After all, laughter really is the best medicine!