50+ Funny and Relatable Stalking Quotes for Social Media: Lurker, Stalker, or Secret Admirer

Stalking quotes are all about capturing the curious, sometimes humorous, and often obsessive nature of people who just can’t stop checking up on others. Whether it’s online stalking or a more subtle kind of “observing,” these quotes bring a playful twist to a common behavior. Below, you’ll find a mix of funny, thought-provoking, and sometimes even heartfelt stalking quotes. Enjoy and remember, keep it light-hearted and safe!

Funny Stalking Quotes

Sometimes, stalking isn’t as serious as it sounds. These quotes play on the humorous side of checking up on someone a bit too much. Enjoy a laugh and remember to keep things light!

• Hello stalker, I’m doing fine, thanks for checking up on me.
• Keep lurking, I’m doing good.
• If stalking my page and going through my pics makes you feel better, please continue, you’re sad and pathetic.
• Welcome back stalkers.
• Stalk me all you want, I still won’t like you.
• Oh sweetie I don’t mind that you stalk me, I consider it charity. I’m glad to be contributing to your low life foundation.
• We good over here, stay over there.
• I’m sorry you’re so insecure with yourself that you constantly have to worry about every move I am making.
• Go ahead and keep watching my posts. Yes, I’m still happy and yes, I’m still awesome.
• It’s not called stalking. It’s just called following you.
• Me?? Stalk?? Nah.. I just observe.. At night… Behind a tree… Alone…
• Remember…it’s the people not liking your pics who are paying the most attention.
• Posting is way more fun, when you know you’re being stalked.
• Stalking someone on Facebook and accidentally liking their profile picture from six years ago.
• Don’t be calling people stalkers if you’re putting your business all out in social media. I’m not stalking you, I’m just browsing.
• If someone is ugly, you call them a stalker. If the person is good looking, you call them a secret admirer.
• It’s not stalking if you don’t follow them home, right?
• Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
• Stalking is all fun and games until you accidentally press the “like” button.
• You can’t make someone love you; all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. – Caleb Followill
• Every breath you take. Every move you make. Every step you take. I’ll be watching you. Every single day.

Self-Reflective Stalking Quotes

These quotes explore the introspective side of stalking, with a hint of self-awareness. They remind us that sometimes, stalking is a bit about us, too.

• Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
• Some call it stalking I call it love.
• Nobody watches you harder than the people that can’t stand you.
• You can not figure me out, looking at my social media.
• I’m not a “stalker”, I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
• There are 2 types of internet stalker. First is the person who admires you and second is the person who hates you big time.
• Ever since I started to get recognition I’ve picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them. – Jim Carrey
• If an ordinary person parks outside another ordinary person’s house for a week, it’s considered stalking. If, however, that person is considered newsworthy, it’s perfectly legal for paparazzi to do the same thing. – Vince Vaughn
• I’m not a stalker, I just prefer to call it ‘intense admiration from a distance’.
• Some call it stalking…I call it collecting evidence.
• I can’t help but feel like a love detective when I follow you around all day.

Love and Obsession Stalking Quotes

Love and obsession often blur together in these quotes. Here, we see how stalking can sometimes reflect an intense form of admiration.

• It might seem that I stalk you, but the truth is I love you!!!
• You can’t force someone to love you, you can only stalk them and hope for the best.
• Stalker: A full-time online private investigator who performs their duty at no cost.
• “Friend request accepted”. Let the stalking begin.
• If the person is ugly, you call them a stalker. If the person is good looking, you call them a secret admirer.
• There’s a fine line between love and stalking.
• Are you stalking me? Because that would be super. – Ryan Reynolds
• I’m not stalking I prefer the term close range people watching.
• I’m not a stalker, I’m just trying to get to know you better.
• It’s not stalking if you’re in love, right?
• You’re my soulmate. I know it in my heart.
• Yes, you. Stop stalking that ex or situationship you obsess over.

Celebrity and Pop Culture Stalking Quotes

Even celebrities have something to say about stalking. Here are quotes from well-known figures sharing their take on being observed a little too closely.

• I call it viewing from afar, they call it stalking. – Troye Sivan
• Women never stalk men; they just research them intensely. – Matshona Dhliwayo
• I may be followed around, but at least I know someone’s always watching my back.
• Some call it stalking I call it love.
• I’m not creepy, I’m just deeply interested in you.
• I don’t mind being followed as long as it’s by someone who has my best interests at heart.
• Dude he just called you a stalker! Oh hell no!, Hold my binoculars!

Whether you find stalking funny, creepy, or just a bit of harmless fun, these quotes have something for everyone. Remember, stalking can be a serious matter, so keep it light and respectful. Enjoy these quotes, and if you have a favorite, feel free to share it with others!